JP’s Cricket Sim

No problems GingerPrince - India is yours. I'll be intrigued to see if Ganguly makes the squad...

Just to recap then:

PREMIER DIVISION: Sri Lanka and West Indies left

FIRST DIVISION: All teams still available

Edited by -JP-

Okay seeing as nobody wants them I'll take West Indies.

Cool, mon?

I mean, somebody's got to sort out the caribbean crisis, right?

Edited by Superbokkie

Thanks Superbokkie, we're just waiting for someone to come along and take over Sri Lanka. Once we fill the Premier Division we might as well get the sim going, I'll let the second division manage itself so to speak and others can take up teams as they wish. Come on, the Sri Lankans aren't that bad!!!!

Originally posted by One Hammer Originally posted by Sledger Well it might be wonky typeface , but the scores look familiar!! LOL ,you are worth bottling Pete.. I have never played this before ,but im looking forward to it. Trying to work out how it all works but i guess by whats been said i just have to pick a team and basicly wait? Bit of a worry that Petes boys are already raring to get into all the teams again ,i want to avoid the Eglish please JP as i am AShed out,ps do we get the ashes back if your results go our way? Ill get Symonds out of the pub on the match eve

I'm looking forward to running it too; come on someone, take over Sri Lanka. Would anyone mind if I did it (provided no-one else takes over by say the weekend)? Then we can get going on Monday  

You're about right - you play the role of selector, you pick the squad then the team as well as the venue and the state of the pitch...and then react to results however you want!

You can't avoid the English I'm afraid as everyone plays each other but I'm sure some sort of 'Ashes' will be exchanged after the Eng-Aus battle (I'm thinking a member title or something...)

Originally posted by GingerPrince .... because england has already been taken!

....they're in good hands Ginger !!    

Originally posted by Superbokkie Okay seeing as nobody wants them I'll take West Indies. Cool, mon? I mean, somebody's got to sort out the caribbean crisis, right?

Brave man Michael !!! After your adopted team's 1st performance you'll understand why so many West Indians smoke that funny stuff !!    

Right I'm taking Sri Lanka. Let's go.

OK then people. Here is the plan.

We have all 8 Premier Division sides taken so we can start with the fun.

I shall start the games on Monday, so that gives you this (long) weekend to get your squads compiled. Remember up to 18 qualified players under 40.

When I have all the squads ready, I shall announce injuries and then the home teams for this week (England, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand) post their venues and pitch state (excellent, normal, poor, random) by 10am Monday. Then all teams will give me their starting line up, in batting order. I shall run the games sometime Monday afternoon and the results will be up by Monday evening.

The second Test will be Wednesday, so injuries announced Monday night so teams and pitch state to be announced Tuesday, the third Test being on Friday. Then the next round starts the next week, so you have a weekend to tinker with your squad.

• Please PM me with a working email address so I can add you to the newsgroup where I will store scorecards
• Remember to pick at least 2 wicketkeepers in your squad (otherwise you'll have someone from the crowd keeping wicket should your main man get injured.)

We going to see your Lankan squad today JP - then I'll tell you where we playing on Monday !!

Okay JP , the grounds for England vs Sri Lanka are -

1st Test    The Oval

2nd Test    Egbaston

3rd Test    Headingley


(forget Lords matey - Sri Lanka killed us there not long ago!)

John Pennington arrived in England today with his 18 man Sri Lankan squad and immediately stated his intent:

"We're here to do what the Australians couldn't. We believe that man for man we are better than England and can't wait to get stuck into them."

He then went on to announce his squad:

Marvan Atapattu (capt), Sanath Jayasuriya, Mahela Jayawardene, Kumar Sangakkara, Thilan Samaraweera, Tillekeratne Dilshan, Virana Waragoda, Kaushalya Weeraratne, Chaminda Vaas, Muttiah Muralithuran, Upal Tharanga, Tharanga Priyadarshana, Duminda Perera, Upal Chandana, Pradeep Jayaprakashdaran, G@yan Wijekoen, Dunisha Fernando, Dilhara Lokehettige.

He went on to introduce some of the more obscure members of his squad:

Viran Waragoda is an immensely talented batsman who plays for Burgher Recreation Club. He is someone I hope to really pressure the likes of Jayawardene and Samaraweera in the middle order.

Weereratne of course needs no introduction, having just recently broken the record for the fastest fifty - however, I believe he has much to offer us as a bowling all-rounder

Priyadarshana plays for Moors Sports Club and I believe he is a very good off spinner. Unfortunately for him, we also have one M Muralithuran on the tour.

Duminda Perera, at 36, has earned a late call up for some sterling recent performances with ball and bat.

Jayaprakashdaran is not just picked for his fantastic name (and at just 21 he may be around a while so get used to it!) but his off spinning skills. He has time on his side and he comes on this tour mainly for the experience.

Wijekoon is a handy all rounder who is here to back up the efforts of the likes of Perera, Weeraratne and co.

Lokehettige has only played ODIs to this point, but he has been given his chance in the Test arena as he remains a promising all-rounder.

Pennington was then faced with questions from the floor:

"How do you feel about facing your 'home' country first up?"

To me, they are now just another team we have to beat so I won't be allowing them any chances. I have great respect for what they've achieved and for their coach Pete but that won't stop me in any way from giving my all in this new role.

"Do you really think that Weeraratne will be able to adapt to Test conditions? Many feel he is only here as a publicity stunt after his fast 50."

Rubbish. He's here because he deserves to be in the squad.

"How do you anticipate going into the first game at The Oval? Four bowlers or five?"

I have deliberately picked a squad where all of my bowlers know how to hold a bat so I believe we could play six bowlers and still be well balanced enough to match England's batting line up.

"Who do you see as the main threat in the England team?"

That top order is very solid, all averaging over 40 right down to Flintoff which will mean we will have to bowl well and field well. Pete has unfortunately for us removed the weak link in Geraint Jones so I'm not expecting much to go down behind the wickets. And as we saw against Australia, the four fast bowlers plus Giles will be hard to tame. I don't think I can pinpoint any one or two players who will be the threat, I see threats from everywhere, but equally, I know Pete will be feeling the same about my squad.

Edited by -JP-

Hi JP

The Venues for South Africa vs India.

1st Test: Centurion

2nd Test: Kingsmead

3rd Test: Newlands

Good Luck Ginger Prince

Cheers
Haydn(The Bird)

Sky News Latest - Ian Botham with Michael Vaughan and his team at a local hostelry just outside The Oval Cricket Ground.

"Michael , can I have a word please ?"

"Ow!!!!!!!!!! blimey Beefy!"

   "Sorry , that the bad knee?"

   "S'ok , what is it?"

   "Thanks , a vat of red wine to start mate"

   "No , what do you want?"

   "You Yorkshire lads are slow , A VAT OF RED WINE PERLEEEEEZE!"

    Losing patience ,"I'm seizing up here and in the process of being Freddied , what's your problem?"

   "Oh , right Michael " smiling gratiously , "The pretest interview that was arranged..."

    "Right!! I'd forgotten , come join the lads!"

Huge pandemonium as Botham takes his place in the circle of tables - holding centre stage is Freddie with a milk churn of bitter.

    "Heyup Beefy , your round lad !!" Fred bellowed.

This exclamation was greeted with rapturous support from the other 17 3 Lions Clad Blazered men and a sheepish "I'll just have orange juice" from Alistair Cook.

    "No problem boys , Sky's paying and the tab can run!" s******ed Beefy.

    As the buxom lassies provided the Pimms (with cherry) to Andrew Strauss and the rest of the ale to the rest of the boys (bar lil Cookie) , Beefy lifted his wine glass , momentarily blocking out the sun and addressed the England Captain.

   "So Sri Lanka Monday Michael , John Pennington has brought over a side with serious talent and intent."

   "I'm sure he has , but as always we're well prepared and really looking forward to the challenge. Duncan has studied all their players and we have plans for all of them."

   "So , you're ready , as you were for the Aussies."

   "Probably more so , we aim to win another series , that'll be 7 on the bounce , I think."

   " Love the confidence Michael , so what do you know of Pradeep Jayaprakashdaran?"

   " I know this skip!" pipes up Freddie , " It scores 398 at scrabble!"

   A glare from the captain and Freddie inserts his head back into his milkchurn.

   " A fine player and a useful bowler , but the wickets here in November don't turn much."

    " Good point and something we at Sky were debating over our luncheon of Beef Wellington with funny veggies and a 58 Chateau de Rothchild. Gower reckons it's a good job Rob Key didn't make the squad , because him in 4 jerseys would give the Sri Lankans good reason to appeal against the light."

     "Yes , that was taken into consideration , so we went for skinny lads - just look at Cook , can't weigh more than 8 stone!"

     "Talented lad , that's for sure , but what about Viran Waragoda?"

      "Yes , that was a real problem in Pakistan , but we're all on a course of antibiotics and don't expect any serious mishaps this time around."

     "So you are confident of taking another series win?"

    " We're always confident . since the summer it's hit us that we have to fear nobody , respect yes , but fear ,no. Can I ask you a question Beefy?"

    "Errrrr , okay"

     "In the commentary box , how , in real time , will you cope with all those funny names?"

     Laughing heartily ," Oh that's all sorted mate , Vaas , Dilshan , Perara , Fernando and Murali are mine and Bob's , when those funny buggers are in shot we pass over to Gower and Bumble !! "



     

    


Edited by Sledger

Karthik and Dhoni are very different players. I think that means no Ganguly then...

West Indies seventh coach in the last ten years, Michael "Superbokkie" Oehley, a renowned hard cricketing thinker from South Africa, arrived in Australia looking miserable.

"I hate playing Australia", he said, looking forlorn. "How am I expected to get these useless players performing against the best team in the world?"

He proceeded to sob in the bathroom for half an hour before naming his team:

(c) Chanderpaul

Lara

Sarwan

***le

W Hinds

M Samuels

DR Smith

(w) RD Jacobs

(w2) Ramdin

Bravo

Dillon

Lawson

R King

D Powell

Collymore

Collins

Edwards

DS Smith

After this the coach had another good cry because he only had two batsmen who averaged above 40 and one bowler who averaged under 30.

"Australia have 6 batsmen who average over 40 - 4 of them over 50, and 2 bowlers who average under 30", Oehley bemoaned. "Why did I get drawn with Australia first? I'm so depressed".

At that point he left the press conference and went off in search of his captain who had forgotten to pitch up to the conference, after which he spent the afternoon trying to locate the 9 players who had not shown up for practice.