Fox News – December 26, 2001

Usama bin Laden has died a peaceful death due to an untreated lung complication, the Pakistan Observer reported, citing a Taliban leader who allegedly attended the funeral of the Al Qaeda leader.

“The Coalition troops are engaged in a mad search operation but they would never be able to fulfill their cherished goal of getting Usama alive or dead,” the source said.

Bin Laden, according to the source, was suffering from a serious lung complication and succumbed to the disease in mid-December, in the vicinity of the Tora Bora mountains. The source claimed that bin Laden was laid to rest honorably in his last abode and his grave was made as per his Wahabi belief.

About 30 close associates of bin Laden in Al Qaeda, including his most trusted and personal bodyguards, his family members and some “Taliban friends,” attended the funeral rites. A volley of bullets was also fired to pay final tribute to the “great leader.”

The Taliban source who claims to have seen bin Laden’s face before burial said “he looked pale … but calm, relaxed and confident.”

Asked whether bin Laden had any feelings of remorse before death, the source vehemently said “no.” Instead, he said, bin Laden was proud that he succeeded in his mission of igniting awareness amongst Muslims about hegemonistic designs and conspiracies of “pagans” against Islam. Bin Laden, he said, held the view that the sacrifice of a few hundred people in Afghanistan was nothing, as those who laid their lives in creating an atmosphere of resistance will be adequately rewarded by Almighty Allah.

When asked where bin Laden was buried, the source said, “I am sure that like other places in Tora Bora, that particular place too must have vanished.

What a safe place he decided for a hideout , so near to the military camp , Americans were mislead searching in some lonely mountains, all the while he was in a safe custom built mansion. It's anybody's guess who gave them security and why he was there all the time. Anyways everything is in black and white for world, It always was. Good that it was not a joint operation else he would have sneaked somewhere else.

First class, bang on the money, agree 100%.

Far too many people now know the truth; the lies just don’t wash anymore. You can’t have access to the internet and act dumb anymore as that doesn’t wash with me either.

……………………Those weapons of mass destruction got to  be somewhere……..as bush looks under the table and laughs!! No, not under here and laughs. Sorry, but the Uk and US people were duped. How many more live for oil and gas will there be. SICK.  

Sam those videos are just put together by the U.S to scare the American public in general, thankfully most are waking up to this but there are many brain washed in the world who fall for it hook line and sinker, dumb is too smaller word for it. The FBI has always said that he was never wanted for 911 because they had no proof. Those vids never looked anything like him anyway.

Obama has been a lame duck as expected, and was about to go down in history as the worst ever next to Bush 2, He needed this staged nonsense to regain popularity in my opinion.

Yes I can see the power of propaganda, Pakistani general innocent public does not even have an idea of what their military and govt are doing all these years. They know ignorance is bliss and they very well know how to  make stories that divert attention from real problems on hand from general public.

Yes without a doubt. In my childhood I used to believe that everyone can be educated about what is right and what is wrong and entire world can live in love and harmony. As the grew up , I understood that people lose logic and fail to understand or accept the real truth , selectively assume and imagine things, believe in only what they want to believe, forget the thousands of years of history , learn nothing from it and become complete morons and say "hey 1+1 is 3", unfortunately we can't explain that 1+1 accounts to 2 to someone who fundamentally learnt that "1+1" is 3.

I can see where you are coming from V4P.  All i'll just finish off with is that this story is very fishy.  Even the Iranians have another story, about America trying to distract the world from their current economic position etc and that they had reliable information that Osama died sometime ago from some illness.  Look, i'll tell you guys one thing, if this was in any Island in the Caribbean, we surely would have known who is what. 

For the second Sunday in a row, network programming was interrupted for a news flash on May 9th. President Obama appeared on all major networks and cable TV to announce that Elvis Presley had been found alive and well in Pakistan!

Obama stated, "For decades the American public has speculated on whether Elvis was dead or alive. In eight years of the Bush administration, we heard not one word. I am proud to announce that a Special Forces team from the USO has located him and pictures and DNA have confirmed it. Elvis is still with us! Aint nothn but a hound dog still lives on in the hearts and minds of his countrymen."

Obama abruptly left the podium in the Green Room. Speculation is rampant.

First reports state that Presley was found right in the middle of Islamabad and under the very nose of the Pakistani government. A spokesman was quick to respond: "We know nothing about Mr. Presley and his being here. It is not our job, I repeat, not our job, to know of every American rock star that comes to live in our country seeking freedom of expression. But I will say this to the American government, if you make any attempt to take Elvis from us we will retaliate in the most extreme measures. We will flood the US film market with Pakistani movies! If the Americans think enhanced interrogation is cruel and unusual punishment, well, they haven't seen anything yet!"

Evidently, Mr. Presley was found living in luxurious conditions with several seventy-five year old groupies of mixed national origin. When the USO swat team first entered the compound, Presley and the groupies were huddled under a blanket watching old video tapes of The Ed Sullivan Show. One of the groupies wearing a mini-skirt and spike heels tried to stab a member of the team with a needle from an old Victrola. No injuries were reported.

In related news a source within the Obama administration, speaking on condition of anonymity, has stated that the US has offered Pakistan an additional thirty billion dollars in aide plus Pat Boone for the return of Elvis.